Simply Mel(Formerly Mama Monoblogs)

It's A Weighty Issue

Remember those head weights I told you Mike and I have to wear for our Chiropractor? Here I am "weighing in" on the issue.. hee hee.

I rock these head weights!

 

Yes I am wearing what looks like a tool belt with heavy, not-sure-what- metal- that is rectangles in it's pockets on my head. Each weight's weight is different and Mike and I wear them in different pockets on our head depending on which side of our necks need strengthening. The curve at the base of my neck is totally reversed and wearing these weights is going to help in getting the curve back to where it should be. The weights are numbered so we know which pockets to put them in and also have our names on the one ones we share so I don't wear a "Mike only" weight. Let me tell ya, those things definitely tire my neck out after awhile. We're supposed to wear them twenty minutes a day. Sadly, I have not been as faithful wearing them and I know that my next neck x-ray is going to show little to no improvement. That will cause a "weighty problem" with my Chiropractors! Haha. I guess I'd better start wearing those darn things more faithfully.

 

When To Call It Quits

 

Uh.....honey? When your toothbrush looks like this, don't you think it's time for a new one?

 

Conversations With Katelyn

Katelyn: Umm, mama? What should I change into now?

Me: Why? Are you wet? Did you peepee in your pants?

Katelyn: Umm, no. But...... I need to go potty!!

Me: Ok. Go. Are you sure you didn't pee in your pants?

K: Noooo!(said as she runs upstairs. She always answers "no" when we ask her if she's sure about something)

 

After a while I head up to check on her. She's walking around with just her shirt on(backwards).

 

K: Mama, what else should I change in to?

Me: Why Katelyn? Oh, are you asking that because you think it's time to wear a pull up since it's nap time? Go ahead and put on a pull up.

K: Ok. but....my pants are wet. Will you find me new pants?

Me: Why are they wet, Katelyn? Did you have an accident?

K: Nooooo. They're just wet.

Me: Katelyn, where are the underwear you were wearing before?

K: (Sheepishly) They're behind my door.

Me: Why are they behind your door?

K: Because I put them there so you wouldn't find them. Because I peed in my pants. (She retrieves a pair of urine soaked underwear from behind her bedroom door)

(We then had a nice discussion on honesty and why she needs to tell me when she has to go potty etc etc)

 

Behind her door.

That's a new one.

Katelyn Potty Mouth

I just wanted to share some of the jewels that Katelyn has shared with me the past few days. I'm sorry if you find some of them offensive. I thought they were funny. She is only 3 and at the height of potty humor.

Whenever Katelyn has a bowel movement in the potty she must call me and let me know that she's done it and for me to come and see it. Then we must talk about it and I must give her praise for the the hard work she has put into producing such works of bowel movement art. Today she says to me:

"Mama look at my poop that I did! They are a lot and very little. They are singing " Happy Birthday Poo-oop" and having a little poop birthday party and eating their birthday poop cake".

I kid you not.

Before she went potty she had been waiting for her hot chocolate to cool off(  a new obsession with her). She went to drink her hot chocolate when she remembered that she still had not put her pants on.  So she says to me " Mama, girls can't drink  hot chocolate without pants!!"

Well, silly me.

She also find flatulence funny and must announce it every time she has passed gas. And  if we, somehow, rudely missed it the first time she must rein-act it for our listening pleasure.

Let's not forget that any time Mike or I go to the bathroom Katelyn takes a huge interest in what we've  produced in the bathroom ourselves. We, of course, draw the line there.

 

Somebody, somewhere, is laughing.

I woke very early this morning, probably around 2:00 am or so, to no power. Again. What actually awoke me was the horrendous sound of my husband's snoring. He  uses a CPAP machine to bed at night to help with his Sleep Apnea which in turn helps him not snore. Well, his CPAP got shut off due to no electricity which brought on the loud, horrid snoring. If you speak to anyone who has ever heard Mike in the midst of a good, roaring snore, they will tell you it is the scariest sound they've ever heard. I absolutely cannot sleep with him snoring. So I had a dilemma at 2AM. Once I saw that our house was in utter darkness and the alarm clock was blank I figured there was nothing I could do anyway and maybe I could just roll back over and go to sleep. I laid, tossing and turning ,but could not shut out Mike's snoring.  I'm going to have to sleep on the couch!! I thought, and then fumed. It's not fair that I have to be the one to move. He should be the one to sleep on the couch. When Mike is sound asleep there is not waking him. He will speak to you and everything but have norecollection of it the next morning. I tried to tell Mike there was no electricity and also that he was rudely snoring VERY LOUDLY and I couldn't sleep. He just mumbled incoherently back at me. Then I griped about how ridiculous it was that I had to sleep on the couch because of his stupid snoring.( Let's just state here, for the record, Wife Of The Year, I am not). He mumbled back that he had a medical condition and what did I want him to do about it. So I fumbled around on my dresser for a flashlight I knew was there, grabbed my pillow and stomped downstairs.

First I figured I would find all the flashlights we own and make sure they had batteries in them in case we ended up needing them in the middle of the night. Plus, I didn't want to leave Mike with no flashlight upstairs in case he woke up. So I fiddled around with the flashlights until they were all set to go. Then I trudged back upstairs,left a couple of flashlights up there and came back downstairs to set up my couch bed.

This is when I remember the middle seat of our couch is broken.

Somebody sat down on it a little too hard, (MIKE,) and broke the spring. So, the couch was less than comfortable to lay on. I kept willing myself to go to sleep, regardless, but I just couldn't. I was way too uncomfortable. We have a "guest room" in our basement but I didn't want to sleep all the way down there in case one of the girls woke up.(Mike would definitely not hear them in his deep slumber). So I angrily huffed and stomped down to the freezing basement, flashlight in hand, grabbed all the extra blankets and stumbled back up the stairs to make myself a bed on the living room  floor. By now I was really grumbling and cursing under my breath. I got everything squared away, praying the whole time that the Lord would not allow us to be without power all day today. I got comfortably settled  and then...

Click.

Our cable box clicked on and I heard our heat come to life. The power had thankfully come back on. But I was not in the best of moods to be thankful after all the work I had just put into getting ready for a night on the floor,without electricity. So I got up, picked up all the blankets and put them on the couch, grabbed my pillow and stomped back upstairs. Mike's CPAP had come back on(he'd never even taken the mask part off) and he was soundly, and quietly sleeping.

This morning, as I knew he would, Mike had no memory of anything that happened last night or my angry comments about his snoring. None.

Amazing.

I know someone, somewhere is laughing at me. They are getting some good laughs at my expense.

 

Today It Seems Funny. Yesterday It Wasn't

So, I feel the need to share with you a somewhat humiliating story of what happened to me yesterday at my Chiropractor's office. Feel free to laugh with me now. It was definitely not my best moment there. You may or may not even find it that embarassing. We'll see.

I'll start this story off by giving you  a little background. The Chiro office I go to is owned and run by a doctor probably in his mid-late 50's who is just a sweet heart and his nephew. They are both awesome. The nephew is probably only a little older than me. I'm going to guess early to mid thirties. And he's, well,......attractive. As a happily married woman that is all I'm going to say.(I have eyes for Pete's sake!!) And for the record he is married too and has two children very close in age to my own. For the purpose of this story and without revealing the real names of the characters, we'll call this Doctor-"McDreamy". Any Grey's Anatomy fan's out there? :O) Anyway, I had to go for a re-evalution yesterday and another scan to see the progress I'm making regarding all my back issues. I go there thinking one of the ladies who works there was going to do the scan. Not so. "McDreamy" ended up doing the scan. What's so terrible about that you ask? Read on..

My girls and I followed "McDreamy" into the scanning room. I did all the little excersises they want you to do to measure pain and range of motion etc with your neck and back. Then I had to take my shirt and bra off and put on a little, pink"johnny" top. Very flimsy fabric and open in the back.(No, not with" McDreamy" in the room!!) This was so a thermal scan could be done down my back and up my back. At this point I'm  feeling  a little self concious. My back is bare and my back fat is hanging out for "McDreamy" to see. The johnny top keeps falling off my shoulders. I rest assured at this point that he has seen many a bare back and possibly ones with more back fat than  mine. He then asks if there's any way I could put my hair up since he needs to be able to scan my neck as well. Now, if you've seen recent pictures of me I have a pretty short hair cut that gets longer in the front. I had nothing to put it up with so he gave me a hair elastic from the extras they keep in the room for this purpose. Well, my hair would just not stay up so I told him this. He then he handed me another one and asked if I could make pigtails instead( Yes!! pigtails!!) and see if that would work instead.

 It did. I looked ridiculous. I was sitting there with my back exposed with messy pigtails atop my head.

 Now, "McDreamy" has a wonderful sense of humor and is a funny person. He looked at me and laughed and said "That's a good look for you". All I kept thinking was:

"I'm not here to impress him or get a date."

and

"At least my husband thinks I'm beautiful and that's all that matters".

and

 "It can't get any more embarassing that this at this point".

 

Boy was I wrong. Turns out it could.

When he started to do the scan he needed to start at my lower back and go up and then do the reverse.

That's when I remembered I  had worn my white,  extra large, extra comfy, granny panties. You know, the type that is so big it actually sticks  way out in the back past the top of your pants? Those granny panties.

"McDreamy" had to actually tuck them down into my pants to do the scan. I think my back was turning red from embarassment. Not only did I not have a slim, toned back to show off but I had pigtails on my head and plain, ugly, utilitarian undewear to show off my feminine mystique. Not my best moment. Not. My best. Moment.

And through out the whole thing we were having a nice chat about our children. Bless his heart.

Seems kinda funny today although I am cringing as I write this. I have to go back on Friday for my regular adjustment. I think I'll wear something pretty and small, that doesn't stick out in the back. I'll bring a headband. Just in case.

 How about you? Do you have any embarassing stories you'd like to share to make me feel better??

 

UM..SHOULD I BE FLATTERED??(from my old xanga blog)

I just have to fill you all in on something interesting that has happened to me today. I am signed up on yet another "online friends networking" site called Orkut. Orkut is an American site kind of like myspace but has become huge in Brazil and Brazilians have kind of taken it over. Anyways, I keep in touch with a lot of my Brazilian church friends and also high school friends from PACA. You can only join Orkut if you have been invited by someone who is already a member so it's hard to really search for people on there unless you know them already. Well..this brings me to my story... I received two comments from a girl named "Richa" today. I didn't remember a Richa but I thought that maybe it was a girl from PACA in a younger class who maybe remembered me. Her 2 comments  said " hey, hi, your baby is really cute, reallllllly, really cute. I love her! muuuaah..so cute!" and " I wish I could hold her in ma (really spelled that way), hands". I thought "how nice...now who is this person??" So I checked out her profile and I really don't seem to know her! Her profile says she lives in Delhi, India, she's 20 and seems to be a truly nice person. She also looks Indian as well. So I decided to check out her photo gallery to see if I could recognize her better. Well, you can imagine my utter SURPRISE to find TWO PICTURES of KATELYN in her photo gallery that she copied and pasted from mine!!! She even put little cutsie captions under them. One of them was of Katelyn in my inlaws pool this summer with her sunglasses on. She had written "wanna come swim with me?" and the other was one from this past spring of Katelyn in her crib in her sunday dress with pigtails in her hair. She had written something to  the effect of " what better way to define cuteness" or something like that. Now don't get me wrong, I am truly flattered that someone would like my daughter enough to put pictures of her on their site. I mean, I do think she is beautiful but I thought this was a little WEIRD. I thought "should I be concerned??" Well,  after speaking to a couple of family members and receiving  various opinions ranging from write her back and tell her to take your pictures off her site, to erasing all my pictures off my site and reporting her to orkut ,I have have decided to take a middle of the road approach for now.This is also Mike's opinion as well. I am not going to write her back at all but I am going to keep an eye on her site and see how far this goes. If she takes anymore pics or seems to get psycho with it I'm going to do something about it. For now I am going to take it as a nice girl who happens to like Katelyn's pictures enough to put them on her site We'll see where this goes. Sheesh....