This.Book.Is.Awesome. I am getting sad that I'm nearing the end. Some days I feel like I can't take it all in and I need to write the truths I'm learning on note cards and put them on my fridge. Except that my fridge would be covered in note cards! I'll definitely be reading this book again. It has made me more aware of everything I say and do and how it effects my mate and our marriage. It's made me more in tune with my husband's needs. It's just made me more aware in general.
Remember the three things Mike was supposed to tell me that annoyed him about me from week 5? He's finally told me two of them. One more to go and I can finally check that dare off! Of course, I'm not going to write about what he said but it's definitely an eye opener. I've also found it kind of funny that it's taking him this long to come up with them. Should I be flattered? I've also found that as the book progresses the dares are becoming more and more personal so many of them I won't be going into detail about.You don't think I blog about everything do you? I do have some boundaries. *sheepish grin here*
So, without further ado, I present Recap #4
Day 16- Love Intercedes
Today's dare was to pray for Mike's heart. I was to pray for three specific areas that I wanted God to work in regarding Mike's life and our marriage.
I won't be writing about the three things that I prayed for because its personal but I will say that this helped remind me that prayer works much better than nagging. As a wife, I tend to forget that it's God's responsibility to work in Mike's heart about specific issues and not mine. It's also a relief to realize I don't have to carry certain burdens on my shoulders. God can work in those specific issues while I continue in faithful and loving prayer. Ha! There's the key-faithful and loving prayer. I can't expect God to change Mike's heart without being open to Him changing mine too. And I have to pray lovingly, not spitefully.
Day 17- Love Promotes Intimacy
This day's chapter was all about guarding our mate's secrets and making them feel safe and loved in spite of any issues they may be facing. The dare of this day was to determine to guard Mike's secrets(unless they are dangerous to him or me) and to pray for him. Talk with him about them and demonstrate love to him in spite his issues. Really listen to any struggles and make him feel safe.
To be honest, we don't really struggle with deep issues or secrets! Mike has always been a straight-laced, honest, and open kind of guy. This chapter was speaking more of addictions, emotional disorders or other issues like that. But this chapter definitely made me more aware of what I share with friends and even family. I tend to be pretty open about different things going on in our life and our marriage with my family. This chapter made me stop and think that maybe I need to use a little more discretion sometimes.
Day 18- Love Seeks To Understand
Today's dare was to prepare a special dinner at home for just the two of us. I was to focus this time on getting to know Mike better, especially in areas we rarely talk about. I was to try to make this as enjoyable as possible and just spending. quality time with Mike.
This sounds like a simple dare but I wasn't actually sure how I was going to accomplish it! For starters, Mike is usually never home for dinner. I didn't know how to plan around his work schedule. Then I thought I would have to ask my in laws to watch the kids so we could be alone at home but felt silly telling them it was for a dare in a book I was reading. So this dare was actually completed when we celebrated our anniversary! Everything fell in to place perfectly that night. The girls even cooperated by playing out in the yard while we talked on the deck. As I was planning our evening I thought " Aha! I can use this night to complete that dare!".
The questions I journaled about from that night were:
1) What did I learn about Mike that I didn't know before? To be honest...nothing!
2)How can I continue this process of discovery in other ways and other times? I learned from this that we don't always have to plan an elaborate evening with a baby sitter, dinner and a movie. It can be a simple, grilled dinner on the deck with the girls around. Our anniversary dinner felt quite intimate. It can be spontaneous and not over planned. I just need to purposefully seek out moments like that more often and take advantage of them.
3)What were some of the moments that made this evening memorable? The preparations for it, the little details, watching our girls play together, having fudge cake together and enjoying a quiet summer evening outside together.
Day 19- Love is Impossible
This chapter spoke about how unselfish and unconditional love is impossible without Jesus in your life. It spoke on how only Jesus can give you those two things and how only through Him can you offer those to your spouse. The dare was to ask God to change my heart and ask Him to give me the ability to love. To ask Him into my life if I hadn't done so and settle my eternal destination.
Since I have already asked God to change my life and know where I'm going to spend eternity this chapter didn't apply to me too much. It pretty much presented the gospel message and how it applies to marriage. I found how the presented it very interesting. It is very true that you can't truly know LOVE if you haven't received it from the true love source-which is Jesus Christ. You can't offer unconditional and sacrificial love to your spouse if you don't haven't experienced it yourself. It was a great refresher for me.
Day 20- Love Is Jesus Christ
Today's dare was to take God at His Word. To dare to trust Jesus for salvation. To dare to pray " Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner. But You have show me Your love and for my by dying to forgive my sins, and you have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by your grace".
Since this chapter was a continuation of the previous days' chapter there wasn't really a dare for me to complete. Mike and I have already taken this step and prayed a similar prayer years ago. It did remind of what a gift salvation is and not to take my salvation for granted.
And the journey continues! Stay tuned for another recap next week!
